~Arturo Toscanini
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times.
~Mark Twain, attributed
I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: "Oh well," and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
~Benny Hill
One thousand Americans stop smoking every day - by dying.
~Author Unknown
There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that.
~Harold Robbins
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
~Woody Allen
Thank you for Not Smoking. Cigarette smoke is the residue of your pleasure. It contaminates the air, pollutes my hair and clothes, not to mention my lungs. This takes place without my consent. I have a pleasure, also. I like a beer now and then. The residue of my pleasure is urine. Would you be annoyed if I stood on a chair and pissed on your head and your clothes without your consent?
~Sign from Ken's Magic Shop
If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
~Douglas Adams
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.
~Mark Twain
If you must smoke, take your butt outside.
~Author Unknown
Smoke your pipe and be silent; there's only wind and smoke in the world.
~Irish Prover
Little tube of mighty pow'r,
Charmer of an idle hour,
Object of my warm desire.
~Isaac Hawkins Browne,
"A Pipe of Tobacco"
A good cigar is like a beautiful chick with a great body who also knows the American League box scores.
~M*A*S*H, Klinger,
"Bug-Out," 1976
Much smoking kills live men and cures dead swine.
~George D. Prentice
If an addict who has been completely cured starts smoking again he no longer experiences the discomfort of his first addiction. There exists, therefore, outside alkaloids and habit, a sense for opium, an intangible habit which lives on, despite the recasting of the organism. The dead drug leaves a ghost behind. At certain hours it haunts the house.
~Jean Cocteau
The believing we do something when we do nothing is the first illusion of tobacco.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.
~Katharine Whitehorn
Tobacco is a dirty weed. I like it.
It satisfies no normal need. I like it.
It makes you thin, it makes you lean,
It takes the hair right off your bean
It's the worst darn stuff I've ever seen.
I like it.
~Graham Lee Hemminger,
Tobacco
For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.
~Jay Leno
Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your cigarettes.
~Author Unknown
To smoke or not to smoke: I can make of either a life-work.
~Mignon McLaughlin,
The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is ex
~Oscar Wilde,
The Picture of Dorian Gray
On CBS Radio the news of [Ed Murrow's] death, reportedly from lung cancer, was followed by a cigarette commercial.
~Alexander Kendrick
The best way to stop smoking is to just stop - no ifs, ands or butts.
~Edith Zittler
The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.
~Kurt Vonnegut
It's all one thing - both tend into one scope -
To live upon Tobacco and on Hope,
The one's but smoke, the other is but wind.
~Sir Robert Aytoun of Kincaldie,
"Sonnet on Tobacco"
A nonsmoker is forced to find food, but for a smoker breakfast can be a cigarette and a cup of bad coffee.
~Brock Fiant
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